You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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