It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
