i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
