So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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