i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
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