Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
