this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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