It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
