Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
