Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
