duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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