dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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