this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
BRING THE BAGELS
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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