8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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