i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the day after is always just damage control
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
