so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there was a trapeze. enough said
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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