Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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