....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
