Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The power of my boobs compel you
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
