Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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