the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
