He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
