not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
