she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
