did you get engaged???
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
