Your dad touched me again.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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