I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
