so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
