i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
