So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
