I'm jealous of your bromance
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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