I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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