Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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