I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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