before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
