I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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