My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
