those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
