This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
