I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
