look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
