it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
