I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
