if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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