She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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