two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
