I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
