A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
