Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
