it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
