he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
